MISS HYBRID'S FORUM

I accidentally took my cats medicine this morning, don’t ask meow.

_________________

_________________

So I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov and there was a check tablecloth.
It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

_________________

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

_________________
Click here to visit Miss Hybrid's site

Ohh uery goo

_________________

I failed maths so many times at school, I can’t even count.

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

_________________
Click here to visit Miss Hybrid's site

or very busty

_________________

My husband and I were daydreaming about what we would do if we won the lottery. I started: “I’d hire a cook so that I could just say, ‘Hey, make me a sandwich!’” Thomas shook his head. “Not me. I already have one of those.”

OUCH

_________________
Click here to visit Miss Hybrid's site

Text message

We'll we'll we'll...if it isn't autocorrect.

For ML

_________________
Click here to visit Miss Hybrid's site

"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

_________________
Click here to visit Miss Hybrid's site

Oh, now understand what a one liner is

_________________

Very good!

_________________
Click here to visit Miss Hybrid's site

My new girlfriend told me I'm not very good in bed

I asked her how she could make a judgement like that in one minute

_________________

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

_________________
Click here to visit Miss Hybrid's site

Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.

_________________
Click here to visit Miss Hybrid's site

_________________

I like this one, reminds me of LC

_________________

I went to a wine bar called 'The Light Brigade' recently. They certainly knew how to charge.

_________________

Black Beauty - he's a dark horse.
I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.
I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

_________________

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

_________________
Click here to visit Miss Hybrid's site

Someone has just told me that I don't know how to shave properly.
Bloody cheek!

Found a random piece of a jigsaw in my car today and I’ve no idea where it came from. It’s a bit of a puzzle.

A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks "I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?" The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".

_________________

Moist excellent one liners,

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.

Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.

_________________
Click here to visit Miss Hybrid's site

Why was Cinderella dropped from the soccer team? She kept running away from the ball.
I wanted my kids to watch the orchestra, but I had to turn it off. Too much sax and violins.

_________________
Click here to visit Miss Hybrid's site

My gym instructor asked what kind of squats I preferred doing

I said diddly

_________________

I've just designed a new police uniform.
It really fits the bill.

I've just found out that my girlfriend is a ghost…
I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.

_________________